Wellbeing Blog: CBT Therapy & Alexander Technique

October 10, 2025

Disarming Ourselves: On Listening, Armouring, and the Courage to Be Real

Inspired by Stanley Keleman’s “Patterns of Distress”

“I am much more careful to listen, to consider choices, to pause and let things sink in before I respond with my ‘can do’ attitude. My thinking no longer has to be ‘right.’ I no longer force an idea out but attempt to get it out on its own time.”
—Stanley Keleman, Patterns of Distress

Some words stay with you—not because they offer instant solutions, but because they help you see something you’ve been feeling for a long time without fully understanding. That’s how I felt reading this passage from Stanley Keleman’s Patterns of Distress.

Keleman, a pioneer in somatic psychology, invites us to reflect not just on how we think, but how we embody our lives. He reveals how our body—our posture, breath, muscular tone—often reflects the unconscious ways we try to protect ourselves from the unpredictability of the world.

And in doing so, he opens the door to a deeply human truth: we are all, in some way, armoured.

The Habit of Armouring

We all learn, in different ways, to tense up in response to stress, discomfort, or emotional exposure. For some, this looks like holding their breath. For others, it’s stiffening the shoulders, clenching the jaw, locking the knees, or forcing a smile. These physical gestures often go unnoticed, but they are real. They are the body’s language of self-protection.

Keleman calls this armouring: the habitual tightening or bracing of the body to cope with the challenges of being alive in a complex world.

Sometimes, this armour keeps us safe. It helps us survive. But over time, it can become an unconscious barrier between ourselves and the very life we wish to live. We carry ourselves through the world like we’re expecting to be judged, rejected, or hurt. And without realizing it, we stop breathing fully—not just with our lungs, but with our presence.

The World Isn’t as We Presumed

One of the most striking lines in Keleman’s reflection is:

“This is accompanied with the thought that ‘I have to watch out’ or that ‘the world is not organised as I presumed.’”

There’s a quiet grief in that realization—that the world isn’t as safe, fair, or predictable as we imagined it to be. Maybe it hits us after a traumatic event, a betrayal, a loss, or simply the slow accumulation of adult disappointments. At some point, many of us come to understand: we can’t always control what happens to us, and we may not always perform or cope as expected.

That’s a humbling truth. But it can also be liberating.

Because when we stop trying to force ourselves to be perfect, composed, or endlessly capable, we may find something softer underneath—something more human. And with that comes compassion: both for ourselves, and for others who are also carrying invisible weight.

The Speed of Speaking, The Slowness of Listening

In the fast-paced world we live in, where instant messaging, quick replies, and hot takes dominate communication, true listening is becoming rare. We are often preparing our responses while the other person is still speaking. We speak to fill silences, to avoid awkwardness, or to prove our worth.

But how often do we pause?
How often do we actually let the other person sink in before we respond?

There’s a kind of urgency to be seen as competent, articulate, insightful, or just agreeable. And while that isn’t inherently wrong, it can also be a form of self-protection. We perform our thoughts rather than expressing them. We answer quickly so that no one notices how unsure or vulnerable we feel.

Listening—true listening—requires us to slow down and risk not knowing for a moment. It asks us to set aside our need to be impressive or in control and to simply be present.

The Courage to Be Unarmoured

It takes a certain bravery to meet the world without a mask. To allow ourselves to be quiet in a conversation. To admit we don’t have the answer. To speak from our own time, rather than rushing to meet the tempo of the moment.

This kind of courage is not loud or heroic. It’s quiet and persistent. It shows up in small acts:

Pausing before you speak.
Allowing yourself to breathe fully before entering a meeting.
Noticing that your jaw is tight and gently softening it.
Asking someone how they are, and actually listening to their answer without mentally preparing a reply.
Saying, “I’m not sure,” or “Let me think about that,” rather than forcing an answer.

These moments may seem minor, but they are powerful acts of disarmament. They signal to your nervous system—and to the people around you—that it’s okay to show up as you are.

Gentle Reflection as a Path to Change

Keleman’s insight isn’t about shame or self-correction. It’s about noticing. Becoming gently curious about how we move through the world. After a social interaction or a stressful moment, you might ask yourself:

How did I hold my body?
What was I trying to protect or prove?
Did I allow myself to breathe?
Did I speak from habit, or from meaning?
How could I respond differently next time—more gently, more authentically, more slowly?

These are not self-critical questions. They are invitations. Invitations to return to yourself. To experiment with new ways of being. To shift from reaction to reflection. From performance to presence.

The Pleasure of Real Connection

Something beautiful happens when we begin to disarm ourselves: we open the possibility for real connection.

Not just with others, but with ourselves.

When we drop the need to appear strong, smart, nice, or interesting, we make room for realness. And ironically, it’s in this realness that others often feel most drawn to us. Because they, too, are tired of pretending. They, too, want to breathe.

Even mundane conversations can feel nourishing when they’re grounded in presence. You don’t have to impress or entertain. You simply need to be there, listening and responding in your own time.

And when you do speak, you may find that your words carry more weight. Not because they are perfect, but because they are honest.

A Way to Live, Not Just a Way to Communicate

This reflection isn’t only about how we talk and listen. It’s about how we live.

To listen deeply—to others, to your body, to your inner life—is to engage with the world on different terms. It means being willing to live more slowly, more responsively, and more in tune with what matters.

It means choosing presence over performance.
Substance over speed.
Curiosity over control.

And in that space, life often begins to feel fuller. Not necessarily easier, but richer, more textured, more real.

Final Thoughts: The Gentle Path

If there’s one thing I take from Keleman’s work, it’s this:

We don’t have to force our way into life.
We can let life come out of us, in its own time.

It may be uncomfortable at first—this slower, more open way of being. But discomfort isn’t always a problem. Sometimes, it’s a sign that we’re growing. That we’re stepping out of the tight spaces we’ve lived in for too long.

So perhaps the real work isn’t to push ourselves harder, or pretend to be fine.
Perhaps the real work is to listen.
To pause.
To notice.
To breathe.
To ask, gently: How am I showing up in this moment?
And even more gently: How might I soften, just a little?

Because in that softening, we begin to live more truthfully.
And in that truth, we often find—perhaps for the first time—that life is not just bearable, but pleasurable.

September 29, 2025

The Importance of Values

Understanding which values are important to us is a vital part of living a meaningful and authentic life. Values help us clarify what truly matters and guide us in how we want to live. They act as an internal compass, helping us navigate decisions, relationships, and personal goals.

Certain therapeutic approaches, such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), place strong emphasis on the exploration of values. Many of our personal struggles and emotional discomforts arise from not being in touch with the values that matter most to us.

It can be helpful to pause and ask ourselves:
“Why did this situation bother me so much?”
Often, the answer reveals a deeper truth — that one of our core values may have been compromised, challenged, or ignored.

When we don’t fully understand our own values, we may struggle to interpret our emotional reactions or express ourselves openly and authentically. This can lead to feeling stuck, silenced, or uncomfortable. By becoming clearer on our values, we not only gain insight into our inner world but also build the foundation to live more intentionally and expressively.

Discovering What Values Matter to You

To begin identifying your guiding values, try the following reflective exercise:

Step 1: Choose Your Top 10 Values

From the list below, choose 10 values that resonate most with your identity and aspirations:

Authenticity, Compassion, Professional Integrity, Curiosity, Justice, Empowerment, Non-judgment, Safety, Wisdom, Growth, Boundaries, Transparency, Respect, Attunement, Accountability, Presence, Spirituality, Humour, Courage, Creativity, Service, Trust, Clarity, Patience, Inclusivity, Humility, Reliability, Resilience, Openness, Ethical Rigour.

(Feel free to add any other values not listed here.)

Step 2: Narrow Down to Your Core 3

From your 10 values, narrow down to your top 5.
Then refine that list to your top 3 core values — the ones that feel most central to who you are and how you want to live.

Reflect on Your 3 Core Values

For each of your 3 core values, take time to reflect on the following questions:

What does this value mean to me?
(Define it in your own words, based on your lived experience.)
How do I embody this value?
(Consider how it shows up in your speech, actions, choices, and relationships — both verbally and non-verbally.)
Where do I sometimes compromise or struggle to uphold this value?
(Are there specific situations, relationships, or patterns where this value becomes difficult to maintain?)
What boundary or behaviour would better honour this value?
(What changes, limits, or actions could help you live more in alignment with it?)

Why Values Work Matters

This exploration is more than a self-help exercise — it’s a powerful way to gain insight into your reactions, choices, and emotional responses. Often, our discomfort or distress is a sign that something important to us is at stake.

By understanding the values behind our pain, we can begin to uncover meaning within it. When we move through suffering with a deeper understanding of why it affects us, we also open the door to healing, growth, and purposeful living.

September 24, 2025

How to Deal with Anxiety and Negative Thinking About Future Events

Anxiety often stems from a fear of the unknown. Something might happen — something we can’t fully control or predict — and this uncertainty triggers a feeling of danger. Our instinctive response becomes: “If I can’t control or predict it, I’m at risk. I must fix it or eliminate it.”

But trying to eliminate uncertainty only increases our anxiety. Instead, one of the most effective approaches is to learn how to live alongside uncertainty. By gradually exposing ourselves to it, we can develop confidence and tolerance to not only survive it — but to thrive in the face of it. We can learn to act in line with what truly matters to us, even when anxiety is present.

Uncertainty: The Only Certainty

If we take a step back, one undeniable truth becomes clear: life is inherently uncertain. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. The only real certainty we have is that life is finite — and that we cannot control every outcome.

Yet, we spend a lot of our mental energy trying to gain control over the future. “What’s the best solution for this problem?” “What should I do next week?” “How will I feel two months from now?” This type of thinking is normal, but it can become overwhelming. The desire to predict and control becomes a barrier to living fully in the present.

Rather than trying to eliminate uncertainty — an impossible task — it may be more helpful to shift our focus. What actually brings joy and meaning into your life? What do you value? These questions are more within your control than the future ever will be.

Accepting That Uncertainty Is Here to Stay

We often tell ourselves, “If I could just figure out the right decision, I’ll be okay.” But even our best decisions come with unknown outcomes. That’s the nature of life.

What we can do, however, is try our best. And when you do that — when you make thoughtful, intentional choices based on the information you have — you can say to yourself, “I don’t know what will happen next, but I did the best I could.”

That simple shift can reduce the pressure to be perfect and increase your tolerance for not knowing.

Learning to Face Uncertainty

One of the most effective ways to build resilience in the face of anxiety is to deliberately, gently face uncertainty in small doses.

Start with something uncomfortable — not overwhelming — that carries some uncertainty. For example, you might speak up in a group, try something new without over-planning, or delay a decision just a bit longer than you’re comfortable with. The goal is to stretch your limits slowly and intentionally.

The important part is that you decide. You’re choosing to step into uncertainty, and that decision belongs entirely to you. Over time, this strengthens your ability to act with courage — not just despite anxiety, but alongside it.

Practice Being Present

When we’re caught in anxious thoughts, we tend to live in the future. We spend hours replaying scenarios in our minds, asking ourselves what the right decision is, or fearing how we’ll cope with something that hasn’t even happened.

But the only moment that truly exists is this one — right now.

Practicing “present mode” is about training yourself to come back to the here and now. Try setting aside just 15 minutes a day to put your phone down and sit quietly with yourself. No distractions. Just be with your breath, your body, and your thoughts.

Let them come and go without trying to change or fix them. You’re not trying to control your mind — you’re simply observing it. This kind of practice helps build calm and reduces the grip of anxious future-thinking.

Discovering and Living by Your Values

When life feels uncertain, it’s easy to get caught up in worry and indecision. That’s why it’s so important to clarify your personal values — the things that matter most to you.

You might start by asking yourself:
What kind of person do I want to be, regardless of what happens next?

Try having a gentle inner dialogue like this:

Exploring Me: What’s important to me as a person?
Observer Me: I’m not really sure.
Exploring Me: Okay — what qualities do I admire in others?
Observer Me: Honesty. Empathy. Courage.
Exploring Me: Do I want to be that kind of person too?
Observer Me: I think I do. That feels right.

Then, reflect on a memory when you felt proud of who you were. Maybe it was a time you spoke up, took a risk, or stayed true to yourself. That moment probably reflects the values you want to live by.

Why does this matter? Because when we let anxiety take over, we often stop acting in line with those values. We freeze, avoid, or overthink. But when we know what we stand for, we can move forward with more clarity — even when the path ahead is uncertain.

In Summary: Finding Meaning in the Unknown

From a glass-half-full perspective, uncertainty is what makes life dynamic and interesting. If everything were predictable, life would be safe — but also dull.

The anxiety we feel about uncertainty often creates more suffering than the situation itself. And time and again, people find that when the moment finally comes, it’s not as bad as they imagined.

So rather than fearing uncertainty, we can begin to see it as a companion — sometimes uncomfortable, but always part of the human experience. Learning to cope with uncertainty is one of the most valuable life skills we can develop. It allows us to live with more freedom, more purpose, and more peace.

Final Reflection

What helps you cope with uncertainty?
What values guide your actions when you’re unsure of what’s next?

Take a moment to reflect on these questions — or share your thoughts if you feel inspired. Learning to live with uncertainty isn’t easy, but it’s a skill that can lead to a richer, more meaningful life.

September 23, 2025

The Integrity of Waiting: Slowing Down Through the Alexander Technique

In a world that seems to run on urgency, it’s easy to forget that we can choose our tempo. We are constantly pulled by inner pressures and outer demands—to do more, be more, achieve more. But what if there’s another way? One that honors pause, patience, and presence?

One of the main reasons I love practicing and sharing the Alexander Technique is because it allows me to slow my tempo—organically. Not because I’m forcing myself to be calm or mindful, but because I’m cultivating the conditions for space to arise naturally.

There’s a beautiful idea in Alexander work, also echoed by somatic pioneer Stanley Keleman: that there is a waiting time for your response. A kind of inner integrity that allows your response to emerge—authentically, honestly—at whatever tempo is true for you in the moment.

In my opinion, this is not just a technique; it’s a practice for living. One that fosters stability, presence, and duration in whatever we choose to do. And yet, this way of responding takes time. It involves creating new neural maps, new muscular patterns, and in many ways, a new relationship to life itself.

The Culture of Urgency

We are constantly triggered by a culture that thrives on impatience. We feel the pressure to respond quickly, to perform efficiently, to “keep up.” Whether these demands come from inside us or from the outside world, they often provoke emotional reactions—anxiety, frustration, self-doubt—and we become trapped in reactive patterns.

Alexander work invites us to ask: How do we respond to these pressures? How do we meet life—not from habit, but from choice?

There’s a powerful quote by Viktor Frankl that captures this beautifully:

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

This quote sits at the heart of the Alexander process. That space between is where possibility lives. It’s where we can contact parts of ourselves that may have been dormant for years—buried under layers of stress, productivity, and survival mode.

Touching What’s Been Forgotten

Sometimes we only remember this part of ourselves when we take a break—on holiday, in a moment of stillness, or when we’re too exhausted to keep pushing. But what if we didn’t have to wait for burnout to reconnect? What if we practiced slowing down and listening every day?

That’s what Alexander work offers: a space to remember. A chance to re-integrate the parts of ourselves that have been neglected by modern life’s relentless pace.

It’s a reminder of the deep connection between body and mind—not as separate entities, but as a unified self. A self that needs time. Time to explore, to pause, to be.

A New Way of Being

We spend so much of our lives in achievement mode—constantly thinking about what’s next, how to improve, what we haven’t done yet. And while goals and growth have their place, we also need moments where we let all that go. Moments to simply be with ourselves.

To explore a different mode of living—one that is not based on demands, expectations, or pressure, but on presence, curiosity, and care.

And maybe, just maybe, in allowing ourselves that space, we become better decision-makers. We develop deeper relationships. We begin to live with more clarity, freedom, and joy.

If this reflection resonates with you, consider where in your life you might be able to introduce a little more waiting, a little more space. You don’t need to wait for exhaustion to give yourself permission to pause. The integrity of your response—your real response—comes from taking the time to feel it.

Let that be your practice.

August 26, 2025

Breathing Better with the Alexander Technique: A Step-by-Step Guide

Modern lifestyles often involve prolonged stress, extended periods of sitting, and shallow breathing patterns. These factors can disrupt our natural breathing rhythm, leading to tension, reduced oxygen intake, and overall discomfort. The Alexander Technique offers a practical approach to restoring ease and freedom in breathing by promoting mindful body awareness and releasing unnecessary tension.

Why Breathing Matters for Health and Wellbeing:

Breathing is deeply connected to body awareness and stress levels. Limited body awareness, often caused by prolonged sitting or tension, can restrict the lungs and lead to shallow, inefficient breathing. Stress further tightens muscles and disrupts natural breathing patterns, creating a cycle that affects both body and mind.

Non-interfering breathing refers to breathing that flows freely and naturally, without unnecessary tension or restriction from the body. This type of breathing enhances oxygen flow throughout the body, promoting relaxation and reducing stress. It also supports mental clarity and focuses by ensuring the brain receives the oxygen it needs to function optimally. Cultivating non-interfering breathing habits is therefore essential for overall health and wellbeing.

How the Alexander Technique Supports Natural Breathing:

The Alexander Technique helps you become aware of tension often held in the neck, shoulders, and chest—areas that can silently interfere with your natural breathing. For example, you might notice tightness in your shoulders after sitting at a desk all day, which can make your breath feel shallow or restricted.

By becoming aware of patterns of reaction—how your body habitually holds tension—you can begin to gently let go of these habits and allow your breath to flow more freely and comfortably. The technique also encourages the diaphragm—the main muscle involved in breathing—to move without restriction, promoting deeper, more efficient breaths.

With regular practice, the Alexander Technique helps you develop a sense of ease and freedom in your breathing, making it feel effortless and natural again, even during stressful or sedentary moments.

Step-by-Step Guide to Breathing Better

Step 1: Notice habits of reaction (jaw, shoulders, chest) during daily activities.

As you go about your day, pay attention to how your body reacts—do you clench your jaw while concentrating? Hunch your shoulders when stressed? Tighten your chest during phone calls? Simply observe these habitual reactions without trying to change them right away.

Step 2: Use a conscious pause before inhaling.

When you notice tension patterns or habitual reactions—like a clenched jaw while focusing on work, raise shoulders during stressful conversations, or a tight chest when rushing, take a brief conscious pause before your next breath. This pause doesn’t need to be long; even a second or two can help interrupt the automatic tension response.

For example:

Before answering a phone call, pause to notice if your shoulders are creeping up and gently drop them.
While sitting at your computer, notice the tension in your jaw or if you’re holding your breath, then pause and allow yourself enough time to organically come back to a state of non-reaction or non-tension.
When feeling frustrated in traffic, pause before inhaling and observe any chest tightness or shallow breathing.

This small, mindful pause acts as a reset button, giving your body a chance to shift away from habitual tension and inviting a more relaxed, natural breath.

Step 3: Allow natural breath to come (not forced).

Following the conscious pause, it’s important to let your breath flow naturally without any effort or control. Forcing or manipulating the breath can create unnecessary tension and disrupt the natural rhythm your body is designed to follow. When breathing naturally, the diaphragm moves smoothly and freely, expanding and contracting in harmony with your body’s needs.

Allowing the breath to come on its own encourages relaxation and supports efficient oxygen exchange. It helps regulate the nervous system by promoting a calm and balanced state. This effortless breathing fosters greater ease in the body and mind, reinforcing a healthy, sustainable breathing pattern.

Step 4: Notice Your Breathing as You Go About Your Day.

Bringing mindful breathing into your everyday life means staying gently aware of how your body responds during routine tasks. Notice moments when habitual tension or restrictive breathing patterns arise, whether you’re working, walking, or engaging in conversation. This ongoing awareness helps you recognize when your breath becomes shallow, your muscles tighten, or stress builds up.

By consciously observing these reactions without judgment, you create space to interrupt unhelpful patterns and allow a more natural, relaxed breath to re-emerge. Over time, this practice strengthens your ability to maintain ease and calm even in challenging or busy situations. Integrating this awareness into daily activities supports overall wellbeing by reducing physical tension, lowering stress levels, and enhancing mental clarity throughout your day.

Practical Examples & Applications

For singers, speakers, or performers:

The Alexander Technique helps performers become aware of unnecessary tension that can affect breath control and vocal quality. By fostering ease in breathing and movement, it supports better voice projection, stamina, and presence on stage.

For stress relief and relaxation:

Practicing awareness of habitual tension patterns and allowing natural breath can significantly reduce stress. The technique encourages a calm nervous system, making it a useful tool for managing anxiety and promoting deep relaxation.

Becoming aware of ourselves in everyday living:

The Alexander Technique invites us to notice how we move, sit, stand, and respond to daily situations. By becoming more conscious of these patterns, we can reduce strain, move with greater ease, and experience a more balanced, responsive way of living.

What Are the 5 Directions in the Alexander Technique? A Simple Guide for Beginners

Tips to Deepen Practice

Work with a certified Alexander Technique teacher:

Personal guidance can make a significant difference. A trained teacher can help you identify subtle patterns of tension and guide you in developing more easeful, conscious coordination in breathing and movement.

Combine with gentle movement practices:
Practices such as walking, yoga, tai chi, or swimming can complement the Alexander Technique by encouraging fluid, mindful motion. These activities help reinforce awareness and support natural breathing patterns.
Integrate with psychotherapy or emotional work:

Because the Alexander Technique involves noticing how we physically respond to stress, it can support and deepen emotional or psychological healing. When combined with therapy, it may help uncover and release long-held patterns of physical reaction tied to emotional experiences.

Keep a daily awareness habit:

Set aside a few minutes each day to pause, notice your breathing, and observe how you’re using your body in the moment. Even brief check-ins can help you stay connected to yourself and deepen the benefits of the practice over time.

Conclusion

Breathing with awareness can have a profound impact on how we move, feel, and function. By observing and changing habitual patterns of tension and reaction, the Alexander Technique supports a more natural, non-interfering breath. This shift can transform our sense of alignment, increase energy, and promote a deeper sense of calm and wellbeing in daily life. If you’re curious to experience these benefits for yourself, consider taking a lesson or reaching out to a certified Alexander Technique teacher. Even one session can offer valuable insight into how you’re using your body—and how small changes in awareness can lead to lasting transformation.

August 20, 2025

Why the Alexander Technique Is Recommended for People with Postural Pain

The Alexander Technique is often recommended for people suffering from postural pain because it addresses the root causes of discomfort, rather than just the symptoms. Here’s why it can be especially effective:

Improves Body Awareness:

Many people with postural pain aren’t aware of how their everyday habits—like slouching, craning the neck, or locking the knees—affect their bodies. The Alexander Technique teaches individuals to become more conscious of their posture and movement patterns, allowing them to identify and change habits that contribute to pain.

Encourages Natural Alignment:

Instead of imposing a rigid “correct” posture, the technique helps the body return to a more natural, balanced alignment. This reduces unnecessary tension and strain on muscles and joints, which is often the source of chronic postural pain.

Retrains Harmful Movement Patterns:

Over time, repeated poor movement patterns can cause or exacerbate postural issues. The Alexander Technique gently re-educates the body to move more efficiently and with less effort—reducing wear and tear on the body and easing pain.

Reduces Muscle Tension and Stress:

By promoting relaxation and minimizing overuse of certain muscle groups, the technique helps reduce chronic tension—particularly in the neck, shoulders, and lower back. This often leads to a noticeable reduction in postural discomfort.

Supports Long-Term Relief, Not Quick Fixes:

Unlike temporary solutions like braces or massages, the Alexander Technique empowers people with long-term strategies for managing and preventing pain. It fosters independence and self-care by teaching sustainable, body-friendly habits.

Validated by Research:

Studies, including research published in the British Medical Journal, have shown that the Alexander Technique can significantly reduce chronic back and neck pain and improve quality of life.

Benefits of the Alexander Technique for Postural Pain

Relief from chronic back, neck, and shoulder pain:

Many postural issues stem from unconscious habits—like tensing the neck when using a phone or slumping at a desk. The Alexander Technique helps you recognize and change these automatic reactions, reducing strain and discomfort over time.

Improved balance and coordination:

By bringing awareness to how you move during everyday activities, walking, standing, sitting—the technique retrains habitual movement patterns, restoring natural balance and poise.

Reduced muscle tension and stress:

Common stress reactions, such as tightening the jaw, raising the shoulders, or holding the breath, often go unnoticed. The Alexander Technique teaches you to pause and respond more consciously, easing tension and promoting a calmer, more relaxed state.

Step-by-Step: How a Lesson Works

Gentle hands-on guidance:

The teacher uses light, non-invasive touch to help you become aware of subtle patterns of tension and misalignment. This physical guidance encourages more easeful, balanced movement during simple activities like sitting, standing, or walking.

Breathing and movement awareness:

You’ll learn to notice how habitual reactions—such as shallow breathing or holding tension when moving—affect your posture and comfort. With gentle verbal cues and practice, you’ll begin to restore natural coordination between breath and movement.

Releasing unnecessary tension:

Much of the lesson focuses on helping you recognize and stop unconscious habits that lead to excess effort—whether you’re typing at a desk, lifting a bag, or even just standing. The goal is not to impose a “correct” posture, but to allow freedom and lightness in movement.

Everyday Applications for Better Posture

Recognizing and changing unconscious habits of reaction in daily life

Sitting at a desk:

Instead of forcing yourself to “sit up straight,” the Alexander Technique invites you to notice and pause before reacting—like tightening your neck, gripping the chair, or slumping when concentrating. By interrupting these habitual reactions, you allow more natural and supported sitting without added strain.

Walking and standing:

Whether you’re rushing to catch a train or standing in line, you may react by stiffening your legs, holding your breath, or tightening your shoulders. The Technique helps you become aware of these patterns so you can respond with greater ease and coordination, rather than tension and effort.

Using technology without strain:

Common reactions to screens—like jutting the head forward, collapsing the chest, or tensing the jaw—often go unnoticed. Through the Alexander Technique, you learn to pause before engaging, so you can use devices with less strain and more freedom of movement.

Speaking with more confidence:

Many people unconsciously tighten their throat, hold their breath, or slump their posture when speaking or presenting. The Technique helps you recognize these habitual reactions and replace them with freer, more relaxed use of your voice and body—boosting both confidence and clarity.

Why Experts Recommend the Alexander Technique

Medical research support:

Studies, including those published in respected medical journals, show the Alexander Technique effectively reduces chronic postural pain by helping patients recognize and change harmful habitual patterns of movement and tension.

Endorsements from healthcare professionals:

Many doctors, physiotherapists, and occupational therapists recommend the Technique as a complementary approach because it empowers patients to take an active role in managing their posture and pain through awareness and conscious change.

Long-term improvement vs. quick fixes:

Unlike treatments that mask symptoms or offer temporary relief, the Alexander Technique addresses the root causes of postural pain—habitual reactions and misuse of the body—leading to sustainable, long-lasting improvement.

Conclusion

The Alexander Technique offers powerful benefits for those suffering from postural pain by helping you become aware of—and change—unconscious habits of tension and movement. Through improved body awareness, reduced muscle strain, and more natural coordination, it promotes lasting relief and better overall well-being.

If you’re experiencing discomfort or want to move with greater ease, consider exploring Alexander Technique lessons. Learning to pause and rethink your habitual reactions can be a transformative step toward a healthier, pain-free life.

August 14, 2025

What to Expect in CBT Sessions for Stress Reduction

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a type of talk therapy that helps people notice and change unhelpful thoughts and actions. It teaches practical ways to feel better, especially for problems like stress, anxiety, or feeling down. CBT is usually short-term and focuses on what’s happening now and how to handle it.

CBT is often used to help people deal with stress. It helps by:

-Figuring out what’s making you feel stressed

-Noticing unhelpful thoughts, like “I can’t handle this” or “Everything is going wrong”

-Learning to think in a more balanced way, so things feel less overwhelming

-Finding simple ways to cope, like breaking tasks into smaller steps or taking short breaks

-Changing habits that might be adding to your stress, like saying yes to too many things or avoiding problems

CBT doesn’t make stress go away completely, but it gives you tools to handle it better and feel more in control.

What Is CBT and How Does It Help With Stress?

Explanation of CBT’s core principles:

Thoughts, feelings, and actions are linked. The way you think affects how you feel and what you do. If you change your thoughts, you can often feel and act better.

Negative thinking can become a habit. Sometimes people get stuck in unhelpful ways of thinking, like always expecting the worst or being too hard on themselves.

You can learn new ways of thinking. CBT helps you notice those negative thoughts and find more balanced, realistic ones.

It focuses on what’s happening now. Instead of digging deep into the past, CBT looks at what’s going on in your life right now and how to handle it.

You learn by doing. CBT often includes simple tasks or exercises to try between sessions, helping you practice new skills in real life. You and your therapist work together. It’s a team effort — you’re both working to help you feel better.

How does CBT help you change negative or unhelpful thoughts into more helpful ones?

CBT helps you change negative thoughts by first teaching you to notice when these thoughts pop up. Then, it guides you to question if those thoughts are really true or if you might be seeing things in a too-negative way. After that, you learn to come up with kinder, more realistic thoughts instead. This way, you start feeling less worried or upset and more able to handle things. Over time, this new way of thinking becomes a habit.

The connection between thoughts, emotions, and stress.

CBT shows that your thoughts, feelings, and stress are all connected. When you have negative or worried thoughts, they can make you feel upset or anxious. Those feelings then increase your stress. But if you can change the way you think—by spotting unhelpful thoughts and replacing them with more helpful or realistic ones—you can feel calmer and less stressed. So, by understanding and adjusting your thoughts, CBT helps you manage your emotions and reduce stress.

Your First CBT Session: What Happens?

Intake/Assessment:

I’ll start by asking about your experiences and what’s been happening in your life, current concerns, and why you’re seeking therapy. This helps them understand your situation better.

You might be asked things like:

– What problems are you facing right now?

– How do these issues affect your daily life?

– Have you tried anything to cope so far?

– What do you hope to get from therapy?

Setting Goals:

Together, we will decide what you want to work on, such as managing work stress, feeling less overwhelmed, or improving relationships. These goals help guide your therapy sessions.

Structure of Ongoing CBT Sessions

Session length and frequency:

Sessions usually last about 60 minutes and often happen once a week, but this can vary depending on your needs.

Session flow:

Each session typically starts by talking about how things went since the last meeting. Then, you work on learning and practicing new skills together. At the end, you’ll usually set some simple tasks or exercises to try before the next session.

Example activity:

One common focus is spotting stress-related thoughts, looking at whether they’re realistic, and learning how to challenge and change them.

CBT Techniques Commonly Used for Stress

Thought records:
Writing down negative or unhelpful thoughts to better understand and challenge them.

Behavioral experiments:
Trying out new behaviors to test if negative beliefs are true or not.

Relaxation training and breathing:
Learning simple ways to calm your body and mind when stress feels overwhelming.

Problem-solving:
Breaking down stressful problems into smaller steps and finding practical ways to handle them.

Between Sessions: Homework and Practice

Why practice outside therapy matters:
Using the skills you learn in sessions during your daily life helps make them stronger and more natural.

Types of homework:
You might be asked to keep a journal of your thoughts, try facing things that cause stress little by little (called exposure), or practice relaxation exercises.

How it helps long-term:
Doing these tasks builds new habits and makes it easier to manage stress over time, even after therapy ends.

How Long Does CBT Take to Work for Stress?

Typical duration:
CBT usually takes about 6 to 12 sessions to start seeing results, but this can vary depending on the person.

What affects progress:
How quickly you improve depends on things like how severe your stress is and how actively you practice the skills between sessions.

Focus on long-term skills:
CBT isn’t just about quick fixes—it helps you build lasting tools to manage stress well into the future.

When CBT May Not Be Enough Alone

Stress from outside events or trauma:
Sometimes stress comes from difficult life situations or past trauma, and CBT alone might not fully address these issues.

Combining with other approaches:
In these cases, CBT can be used alongside other treatments like medication or mindfulness practices such as the Alexander Technique to provide better support and relief.

Conclusion

In short, CBT is a helpful way to gently explore and change the thoughts and habits that make things like feeling overwhelmed, worried, or burned out harder to handle. You’ll meet regularly and try some easy exercises between sessions.

Remember, reaching out for support is a positive and caring step toward feeling calmer and in control. Whenever you feel ready, you’re welcome to book a session to begin this process.

August 11, 2025

CBT for Workplace Stress: Tools to Avoid Burnout

Workplace stress and burnout are on the rise, especially in fast-paced, demanding jobs. Constant pressure to meet deadlines, handle multiple tasks, and stay connected can leave many feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. This ongoing stress can hurt both your work performance and your overall health.

Thankfully, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a proven way to help manage workplace stress. CBT teaches you how to recognize and change negative thought patterns and build healthier habits. With these practical tools, you can reduce feelings of burnout and regain control over your mental well-being.

If work stress feels overwhelming, it’s important to remember that effective strategies exist to protect your mental health and help you cope better with daily pressures.

Understanding Workplace Stress and Burnout:

Workplace pressure happens when your job feels too hard or overwhelming. Burnout is what can happen if that pressure keeps going for a long time, leaving you feeling completely worn out and disconnected from your work.

Some common signs to watch for are feeling really tired, losing interest in your job, getting easily annoyed, and feeling like you just don’t care as much anymore.

Pressure that lasts a long time can affect both your mind and body. It might make you feel anxious or down, or make it hard to focus. You might also get headaches, have trouble sleeping, or get sick more often. Spotting these signs early can help you take steps to avoid burnout and stay healthy.

How CBT Addresses Work-Related Stress:

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is based on the idea that our thoughts affect how we feel and act. For example, if you constantly think, “I’ll never get everything done,” you might feel anxious, shut down, or avoid tasks altogether

CBT helps you spot these unhelpful thought patterns and learn how to look at them differently. This is especially useful at work when thoughts about workload, self-doubt, or fear of failure start to take over.

But CBT doesn’t just focus on thoughts—it also encourages action. Along with shifting how you think, it helps you make small, practical changes in your behavior, like setting boundaries, breaking down tasks, or speaking up when you’re overwhelmed. By changing both how you think and how you act, CBT gives you tools to manage work-related challenges in a healthier, more balanced way.

CBT Tools to Prevent or Reduce Burnout:

a. Identifying and Challenging Stressful Thoughts

Many people in high-pressure jobs struggle with unhelpful thoughts like “I must be perfect” or “I can’t say no.” These beliefs create unnecessary pressure and lead to burnout. CBT helps you catch these patterns and challenge them using tools like thought records. By breaking the cycle, you learn to respond in a calmer, more realistic way.

b. Setting Boundaries and Saying No

CBT often uses role-play and assertiveness training to help you feel more confident setting limits. Learning to say “no” when needed helps protect your time, energy, and well-being—without guilt.

c. Prioritisation and Problem-Solving

CBT offers simple tools, like decision-making charts and step-by-step planning, to help you focus on what matters most. These tools teach you to direct energy toward what you can control, easing feelings of overwhelm.

d. Relaxation and Breathing Techniques

Techniques like progressive muscle relaxation, box breathing, and grounding help calm the nervous system. These small practices can be powerful in reducing tension during or after a long workday.

e. Behavioural Activation

Burnout often leads to pulling away from things you enjoy. CBT encourages adding small, meaningful activities back into your routine—like hobbies, social time, or movement. This helps restore energy, purpose, and connection beyond work.

Real-Life Example: Overcoming Overwhelm at Work

Emma, a marketing manager in a busy agency, often felt overwhelmed by constant deadlines and a packed schedule. She found herself thinking, “If I miss one deadline, I’ll lose my job,” or “I’ll never catch up.” These thoughts would spiral into anxiety and late-night work, leaving her exhausted and burnt out.

In CBT, Emma learned to spot these “catastrophising” thoughts—automatically jumping to the worst-case scenario. Using thought records, she began to question them: “What evidence do I have that I’ll be fired?” or “Have I met tight deadlines before?” Over time, she replaced those panicked thoughts with more balanced ones, like “I’m under pressure, but I’ve handled this before.”

She also practiced setting limits, breaking big tasks into smaller steps, and taking short breaks. With these tools, Emma felt more in control and less overwhelmed, and her work-life balance slowly improved.

When to Seek Help

Red flags that suggest it’s time to work with a therapist.

Sometimes workplace pressure becomes more than just a bad day or a busy week. Signs that it might be time to talk to a therapist include constant fatigue, trouble sleeping, feeling numb or disconnected, increased anxiety, or finding it hard to enjoy anything—even outside of work. If you’re regularly feeling overwhelmed and can’t “switch off,” support can make a real difference.

Benefits of structured CBT with a trained professional vs. self-help

While self-help tools can be helpful, working with a trained CBT therapist gives you a clear path forward and support that’s shaped around what you’re going through. A therapist can help you notice patterns you might not see yourself and guide you through practical tools, one step at a time.

Mention if online or London-based CBT sessions are available.

If you’re considering professional support, CBT sessions are available both online and in-person in London, making it easier to fit therapy into your schedule. Reaching out doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it’s a caring choice for your mental health.

Conclusion:

CBT offers practical, easy-to-use tools to help manage pressure, handle workplace challenges, and prevent burnout. It’s a structured approach that helps you understand what’s driving your stress and gives you clear steps to feel more in control.

You don’t have to accept constant overwhelm as just “part of the job.” Support is available, and change is possible.

If you’re feeling stuck or burned out, consider exploring CBT as an option. You’re welcome to get in touch or book a session to take that first step toward feeling better.

July 6, 2025

What Are the 5 Directions in the Alexander Technique? A Simple Guide for Beginners

Many people ask me that question about what the 5 directions of the Alexander Technique are. And how can they be useful in real life. Mostly, people who have never heard about the work will associate the Alexander technique with the 5 directions.

I decided that it could be interesting to write about it and give my opinion as an Alexander Technique Teacher of what are the 5 directions and how useful they can be when learning the Technique.

Why learning the 5 directions and what use can they have in our lives?

Learning the 5 directions of the Alexander Technique offers a practical way to improve posture, movement efficiency, and overall body awareness. These directions are mental cues used to gently guide the body into a more coordinated and balanced state without force or tension.

The directions aren’t physical commands but intentions—gentle, ongoing thoughts that allow the body to reorganize naturally.

And what are those directions?

In classical Alexander, the 5 directions can be comprised in a sentence. “Allow your neck to be free, so that the head can go forward and up, and the back can length and widen”. So, as mentioned above, those directions are intentions and gentle ongoing thoughts. And that is where I would like to pause and talk about my experience as an Alexander Teacher.

Misunderstandings of using the Alexander principle of “directions”?

Talking about the 5 directions of the Alexander Technique can be confusing and lead to doing rather than non-doing because the very act of focusing on or “applying” them can easily become a goal-oriented or mechanical process, which is the opposite of what the Technique promotes—conscious inhibition and easeful coordination.

Phrases like “Let the neck be free”, “to let the head go forward and up”, etc., may sound like instructions to actively do something with the body, rather than to inhibit interfering habits. This can prompt people to try and “make” the directions happen physically. I experienced that multiples time with people that came for Alexander sessions. The urge to cling into the “directions” as a command for life.

Also, the word direction can be misleading—it doesn’t mean moving in a direction, but rather thinking in a direction, inviting a quality of lengthening, widening, or releasing. Many people mistake this for something they must produce with effort.

When people try to do the directions perfectly, they often become more focused on results than on process. This undermines the awareness and inhibition that form the basis of the Technique. The 5 directions are meant to be light, mental reminders, not detailed instructions. Overanalysing or repeating them rigidly can interrupt natural coordination.

The value of “directions”.

In essence, the 5 directions are valuable when thought with clarity and ease, not when they become tasks. The Alexander Technique is about promoting during a session organic releasing interference, not adding effortful correction.

In my opinion, other Alexander Technique principles are more important than directions, such as inhibition, primary control, and awareness.

Other major Alexander Technique principles

Inhibition (the conscious choice to stop habitual, harmful patterns) creates the space where directions can even be applied effectively. Without inhibiting old habits, directions might just be ignored or misapplied.

Primary control (the dynamic relationship between head, neck, and spine) is the foundational coordination pattern in your body. If that isn’t functioning well, simply giving directions won’t bring lasting change.

Awareness and sensory feedback are crucial to know how your body actually responds. Without awareness, directions become abstract concepts rather than practical changes.

Final Thoughts.

So, directions, in my opinion, can be an important part of a session, if they are experienced in a context, but not per se. Without the fundamental principles that prepare and support your body and mind, directions alone may not work well. It’s like having instructions but no clear connection or readiness to follow them.

Sleepless woman suffering from insomnia, sleep apnea or stress. Tired and exhausted lady. Headache or migraine. Awake in the middle of the night. Frustrated person with problem. Alarm clock.

July 1, 2025

Can the Alexander Technique Help with Sleep?

Yes, the Alexander Technique can help with sleep, though it’s not a direct treatment for insomnia. It works by improving body awareness, reducing muscular tension, and calming the nervous system—factors that can contribute to better sleep. Here’s how it may help:

Reduces Physical Tension:

Many people carry unconscious tension, especially in the neck, back, and shoulders. This can make it harder to relax at night. The Alexander Technique teaches how to release this tension, which can lead to more comfort in bed.

Improves Breathing:

The technique promotes natural, unforced breathing. More efficient breathing can support relaxation and readiness for sleep.

Addresses Anxiety and Stress:

By promoting mindfulness and awareness of how we hold our bodies and react to stress, it can help reduce anxiety—one of the key causes of sleep disturbances.

Encourages Restful Posture:

The technique can help you find more comfortable sleeping positions and reduce strain from poor posture during the day, which may carry into nighttime discomfort.

Although the Alexander Technique isn’t a cure for chronic sleep issues, many people report that it helps them unwind and fall asleep more easily.

Why Poor Sleep Is Often a Body Issue Too?

From the Alexander Technique perspective, poor sleep is often a body issue because the way we habitually use our bodies—especially under stress—can interfere with our ability to rest, release tension, and transition into sleep. Here’s how this works:

Muscular Tension and Holding Patterns

The Alexander Technique emphasizes how unconscious muscular tension—particularly in the neck, shoulders, and back—can interfere with overall functioning. Many people carry this tension into bed. If your body stays in a “ready for action” state (tight jaw, raised shoulders, arched back), your nervous system may struggle to shift into rest mode.

Faulty Body Use and Breath Interference

Poor postural habits—like slumping or over-stiffening—can restrict natural breathing. Shallow or held breath patterns activate the sympathetic nervous system (fight-or-flight), not the parasympathetic system needed for restorative sleep. Alexander work helps retrain easeful posture and freer breath, supporting calm and sleep.

Hypervigilance and Lack of Kinaesthetic Awareness

Without awareness, many people stay “on alert” even in bed—clenching muscles, holding their neck rigid, or locking their joints. The Alexander Technique teaches you to notice and undo these unconscious habits, promoting a safe, quiet internal environment that supports sleep onset.

Overstimulated Nervous System

Alexander work calms the nervous system by restoring balance between intention and tension. If you’re constantly pushing, bracing, or holding yourself in place during the day, your body doesn’t know how to downregulate at night. Learning to release unnecessary effort supports deep rest.

Bedtime Posture and Sleep Ergonomics

Many people lie down with poor alignment—head too high on pillows, twisted spine, or legs rigid—unknowingly causing discomfort that disrupts sleep cycles. Alexander awareness helps you lie down with support and length so the body can truly rest without compression or strain.

How the Alexander Technique Supports Better Sleep?

When it comes to sleep, the Alexander Technique can be beneficial in several ways:

Reduces Physical Tension. Many people carry unnecessary muscular tension, especially in the neck, shoulders, and back, which can interfere with comfortable sleep. The Alexander Technique teaches inhibition (pausing before reacting) and direction (intentional alignment), allowing the body to rest more naturally and with less strain.

Improves Breathing.By encouraging better posture and releasing muscular constriction, the technique can promote deeper and more efficient breathing, particularly useful for people who hold their breath or breathe shallowly during stress or sleep.

Calms the Nervous System. The mindful awareness cultivated in lessons helps reduce anxiety and stress, often linked to insomnia or restless sleep. Practitioners learn how to respond to stimuli with less reactivity, promoting a calmer internal state.

Integrates with Daily Habits. Improving how you move, sit, and hold yourself during the day naturally affects how relaxed and ready for sleep your body feels at night.

What Is Constructive Rest?

Constructive Rest is a simple, restorative body position and mindful practice rooted in principles of the Alexander Technique, designed to promote physical release, deep relaxation, and postural realignment. It involves lying on your back with your knees bent, feet flat on the floor, and arms resting comfortably — typically for 10 to 20 minutes.

Why Is It Ideal Before Bed?

Relieves Muscular Tension. The semi-supine position allows your spine to decompress and muscles to release unnecessary holding, especially in the lower back, neck, and shoulders.

Calms the Nervous System. Focused, gentle awareness of the breath and body helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system, reducing anxiety and preparing the mind for sleep.

Improves Postural Awareness. By reconnecting with natural body alignment, it counters the effects of slouching or screen use, leading to less physical discomfort at night.

Builds a Pre-Sleep Ritual. Practicing it regularly can become a signal to the body and mind that it’s time to wind down — similar to meditation, but more accessible for some people.

Supports Natural Breathing. When the body is aligned and free of excess tension, the diaphragm moves more freely, encouraging slower, deeper breaths — ideal for transitioning to sleep.

Who Can Benefit Most from This Approach?

People with stress-related insomnia. The technique teaches how to release unnecessary muscular tension and calm the nervous system, which helps those who lie awake with racing thoughts or physical restlessness.

Chronic pain sufferers. If sleep is disrupted by back pain, neck pain, or joint discomfort, the Alexander Technique can help align the body more efficiently and reduce pain, particularly in lying or sleeping positions.

Individuals with poor posture. Those who unconsciously hold tension in their shoulders, neck, or back — even while lying down — can use the Technique to improve alignment and reduce unconscious strain that may interfere with sleep quality.

Performers or high-achieving professionals. Actors, musicians, and athletes often use the Alexander Technique to manage performance anxiety and body use. These same principles help them “switch off” at night and unwind their overactive systems.

People with sleep apnea or breathing issue. Though not a cure, the Technique encourages better breathing habits and freer use of the rib cage and diaphragm, which may indirectly support improved breathing during sleep.

Final Thoughts:

Sleep isn’t just a mental state, it’s also a physical and postural one. This technique emphasizes how habitual tension, poor posture, and unconscious patterns in the body can persist even during rest, including sleep.

Also, an important aspect of this method is that it is a holistic approach to how we use our bodies and minds in every moment, even when resting. It helps you become aware of habitual tensions and unconscious patterns, so you can gently release unnecessary effort and move or rest more efficiently and comfortably.

Have you tried practicing Alexander Technique yourself? Or are you curious about how it might help with something specific like stress, pain, or performance? Please contact me for more information.