The Integrity of Waiting: Slowing Down Through the Alexander Technique

In a world that seems to run on urgency, it’s easy to forget that we can choose our tempo. We are constantly pulled by inner pressures and outer demands—to do more, be more, achieve more. But what if there’s another way? One that honors pause, patience, and presence?

One of the main reasons I love practicing and sharing the Alexander Technique is because it allows me to slow my tempo—organically. Not because I’m forcing myself to be calm or mindful, but because I’m cultivating the conditions for space to arise naturally.

There’s a beautiful idea in Alexander work, also echoed by somatic pioneer Stanley Keleman: that there is a waiting time for your response. A kind of inner integrity that allows your response to emerge—authentically, honestly—at whatever tempo is true for you in the moment.

In my opinion, this is not just a technique; it’s a practice for living. One that fosters stability, presence, and duration in whatever we choose to do. And yet, this way of responding takes time. It involves creating new neural maps, new muscular patterns, and in many ways, a new relationship to life itself.

The Culture of Urgency

We are constantly triggered by a culture that thrives on impatience. We feel the pressure to respond quickly, to perform efficiently, to “keep up.” Whether these demands come from inside us or from the outside world, they often provoke emotional reactions—anxiety, frustration, self-doubt—and we become trapped in reactive patterns.

Alexander work invites us to ask: How do we respond to these pressures? How do we meet life—not from habit, but from choice?

There’s a powerful quote by Viktor Frankl that captures this beautifully:

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

This quote sits at the heart of the Alexander process. That space between is where possibility lives. It’s where we can contact parts of ourselves that may have been dormant for years—buried under layers of stress, productivity, and survival mode.

Touching What’s Been Forgotten

Sometimes we only remember this part of ourselves when we take a break—on holiday, in a moment of stillness, or when we’re too exhausted to keep pushing. But what if we didn’t have to wait for burnout to reconnect? What if we practiced slowing down and listening every day?

That’s what Alexander work offers: a space to remember. A chance to re-integrate the parts of ourselves that have been neglected by modern life’s relentless pace.

It’s a reminder of the deep connection between body and mind—not as separate entities, but as a unified self. A self that needs time. Time to explore, to pause, to be.

A New Way of Being

We spend so much of our lives in achievement mode—constantly thinking about what’s next, how to improve, what we haven’t done yet. And while goals and growth have their place, we also need moments where we let all that go. Moments to simply be with ourselves.

To explore a different mode of living—one that is not based on demands, expectations, or pressure, but on presence, curiosity, and care.

And maybe, just maybe, in allowing ourselves that space, we become better decision-makers. We develop deeper relationships. We begin to live with more clarity, freedom, and joy.

If this reflection resonates with you, consider where in your life you might be able to introduce a little more waiting, a little more space. You don’t need to wait for exhaustion to give yourself permission to pause. The integrity of your response—your real response—comes from taking the time to feel it.

Let that be your practice.