September 2025

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September 29, 2025

The Importance of Values

Understanding which values are important to us is a vital part of living a meaningful and authentic life. Values help us clarify what truly matters and guide us in how we want to live. They act as an internal compass, helping us navigate decisions, relationships, and personal goals.

Certain therapeutic approaches, such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), place strong emphasis on the exploration of values. Many of our personal struggles and emotional discomforts arise from not being in touch with the values that matter most to us.

It can be helpful to pause and ask ourselves:
“Why did this situation bother me so much?”
Often, the answer reveals a deeper truth — that one of our core values may have been compromised, challenged, or ignored.

When we don’t fully understand our own values, we may struggle to interpret our emotional reactions or express ourselves openly and authentically. This can lead to feeling stuck, silenced, or uncomfortable. By becoming clearer on our values, we not only gain insight into our inner world but also build the foundation to live more intentionally and expressively.

Discovering What Values Matter to You

To begin identifying your guiding values, try the following reflective exercise:

Step 1: Choose Your Top 10 Values

From the list below, choose 10 values that resonate most with your identity and aspirations:

Authenticity, Compassion, Professional Integrity, Curiosity, Justice, Empowerment, Non-judgment, Safety, Wisdom, Growth, Boundaries, Transparency, Respect, Attunement, Accountability, Presence, Spirituality, Humour, Courage, Creativity, Service, Trust, Clarity, Patience, Inclusivity, Humility, Reliability, Resilience, Openness, Ethical Rigour.

(Feel free to add any other values not listed here.)

Step 2: Narrow Down to Your Core 3

  • From your 10 values, narrow down to your top 5.
  • Then refine that list to your top 3 core values — the ones that feel most central to who you are and how you want to live.

Reflect on Your 3 Core Values

For each of your 3 core values, take time to reflect on the following questions:

  • What does this value mean to me?
    (Define it in your own words, based on your lived experience.)
  • How do I embody this value?
    (Consider how it shows up in your speech, actions, choices, and relationships — both verbally and non-verbally.)
  • Where do I sometimes compromise or struggle to uphold this value?
    (Are there specific situations, relationships, or patterns where this value becomes difficult to maintain?)
  • What boundary or behaviour would better honour this value?
    (What changes, limits, or actions could help you live more in alignment with it?)


Why Values Work Matters

This exploration is more than a self-help exercise — it’s a powerful way to gain insight into your reactions, choices, and emotional responses. Often, our discomfort or distress is a sign that something important to us is at stake.

By understanding the values behind our pain, we can begin to uncover meaning within it. When we move through suffering with a deeper understanding of why it affects us, we also open the door to healing, growth, and purposeful living.

September 24, 2025

How to Deal with Anxiety and Negative Thinking About Future Events

Anxiety often stems from a fear of the unknown. Something might happen — something we can’t fully control or predict — and this uncertainty triggers a feeling of danger. Our instinctive response becomes: “If I can’t control or predict it, I’m at risk. I must fix it or eliminate it.”

But trying to eliminate uncertainty only increases our anxiety. Instead, one of the most effective approaches is to learn how to live alongside uncertainty. By gradually exposing ourselves to it, we can develop confidence and tolerance to not only survive it — but to thrive in the face of it. We can learn to act in line with what truly matters to us, even when anxiety is present.

Uncertainty: The Only Certainty

If we take a step back, one undeniable truth becomes clear: life is inherently uncertain. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. The only real certainty we have is that life is finite — and that we cannot control every outcome.

Yet, we spend a lot of our mental energy trying to gain control over the future. “What’s the best solution for this problem?” “What should I do next week?” “How will I feel two months from now?” This type of thinking is normal, but it can become overwhelming. The desire to predict and control becomes a barrier to living fully in the present.

Rather than trying to eliminate uncertainty — an impossible task — it may be more helpful to shift our focus. What actually brings joy and meaning into your life? What do you value? These questions are more within your control than the future ever will be.

Accepting That Uncertainty Is Here to Stay

We often tell ourselves, “If I could just figure out the right decision, I’ll be okay.” But even our best decisions come with unknown outcomes. That’s the nature of life.

What we can do, however, is try our best. And when you do that — when you make thoughtful, intentional choices based on the information you have — you can say to yourself, “I don’t know what will happen next, but I did the best I could.”

That simple shift can reduce the pressure to be perfect and increase your tolerance for not knowing.

Learning to Face Uncertainty

One of the most effective ways to build resilience in the face of anxiety is to deliberately, gently face uncertainty in small doses.

Start with something uncomfortable — not overwhelming — that carries some uncertainty. For example, you might speak up in a group, try something new without over-planning, or delay a decision just a bit longer than you’re comfortable with. The goal is to stretch your limits slowly and intentionally.

The important part is that you decide. You’re choosing to step into uncertainty, and that decision belongs entirely to you. Over time, this strengthens your ability to act with courage — not just despite anxiety, but alongside it.

Practice Being Present

When we’re caught in anxious thoughts, we tend to live in the future. We spend hours replaying scenarios in our minds, asking ourselves what the right decision is, or fearing how we’ll cope with something that hasn’t even happened.

But the only moment that truly exists is this one — right now.

Practicing “present mode” is about training yourself to come back to the here and now. Try setting aside just 15 minutes a day to put your phone down and sit quietly with yourself. No distractions. Just be with your breath, your body, and your thoughts.

Let them come and go without trying to change or fix them. You’re not trying to control your mind — you’re simply observing it. This kind of practice helps build calm and reduces the grip of anxious future-thinking.

Discovering and Living by Your Values

When life feels uncertain, it’s easy to get caught up in worry and indecision. That’s why it’s so important to clarify your personal values — the things that matter most to you.

You might start by asking yourself:
What kind of person do I want to be, regardless of what happens next?

Try having a gentle inner dialogue like this:

Exploring Me: What’s important to me as a person?
Observer Me: I’m not really sure.
Exploring Me: Okay — what qualities do I admire in others?
Observer Me: Honesty. Empathy. Courage.
Exploring Me: Do I want to be that kind of person too?
Observer Me: I think I do. That feels right.

Then, reflect on a memory when you felt proud of who you were. Maybe it was a time you spoke up, took a risk, or stayed true to yourself. That moment probably reflects the values you want to live by.

Why does this matter? Because when we let anxiety take over, we often stop acting in line with those values. We freeze, avoid, or overthink. But when we know what we stand for, we can move forward with more clarity — even when the path ahead is uncertain.

In Summary: Finding Meaning in the Unknown

From a glass-half-full perspective, uncertainty is what makes life dynamic and interesting. If everything were predictable, life would be safe — but also dull.

The anxiety we feel about uncertainty often creates more suffering than the situation itself. And time and again, people find that when the moment finally comes, it’s not as bad as they imagined.

So rather than fearing uncertainty, we can begin to see it as a companion — sometimes uncomfortable, but always part of the human experience. Learning to cope with uncertainty is one of the most valuable life skills we can develop. It allows us to live with more freedom, more purpose, and more peace.

Final Reflection

What helps you cope with uncertainty?
What values guide your actions when you’re unsure of what’s next?

Take a moment to reflect on these questions — or share your thoughts if you feel inspired. Learning to live with uncertainty isn’t easy, but it’s a skill that can lead to a richer, more meaningful life.


September 23, 2025

The Integrity of Waiting: Slowing Down Through the Alexander Technique

In a world that seems to run on urgency, it’s easy to forget that we can choose our tempo. We are constantly pulled by inner pressures and outer demands—to do more, be more, achieve more. But what if there’s another way? One that honors pause, patience, and presence?

One of the main reasons I love practicing and sharing the Alexander Technique is because it allows me to slow my tempo—organically. Not because I’m forcing myself to be calm or mindful, but because I’m cultivating the conditions for space to arise naturally.

There’s a beautiful idea in Alexander work, also echoed by somatic pioneer Stanley Keleman: that there is a waiting time for your response. A kind of inner integrity that allows your response to emerge—authentically, honestly—at whatever tempo is true for you in the moment.

In my opinion, this is not just a technique; it’s a practice for living. One that fosters stability, presence, and duration in whatever we choose to do. And yet, this way of responding takes time. It involves creating new neural maps, new muscular patterns, and in many ways, a new relationship to life itself.

The Culture of Urgency

We are constantly triggered by a culture that thrives on impatience. We feel the pressure to respond quickly, to perform efficiently, to “keep up.” Whether these demands come from inside us or from the outside world, they often provoke emotional reactions—anxiety, frustration, self-doubt—and we become trapped in reactive patterns.

Alexander work invites us to ask: How do we respond to these pressures? How do we meet life—not from habit, but from choice?

There’s a powerful quote by Viktor Frankl that captures this beautifully:

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

This quote sits at the heart of the Alexander process. That space between is where possibility lives. It’s where we can contact parts of ourselves that may have been dormant for years—buried under layers of stress, productivity, and survival mode.

Touching What’s Been Forgotten

Sometimes we only remember this part of ourselves when we take a break—on holiday, in a moment of stillness, or when we’re too exhausted to keep pushing. But what if we didn’t have to wait for burnout to reconnect? What if we practiced slowing down and listening every day?

That’s what Alexander work offers: a space to remember. A chance to re-integrate the parts of ourselves that have been neglected by modern life’s relentless pace.

It’s a reminder of the deep connection between body and mind—not as separate entities, but as a unified self. A self that needs time. Time to explore, to pause, to be.

A New Way of Being

We spend so much of our lives in achievement mode—constantly thinking about what’s next, how to improve, what we haven’t done yet. And while goals and growth have their place, we also need moments where we let all that go. Moments to simply be with ourselves.

To explore a different mode of living—one that is not based on demands, expectations, or pressure, but on presence, curiosity, and care.

And maybe, just maybe, in allowing ourselves that space, we become better decision-makers. We develop deeper relationships. We begin to live with more clarity, freedom, and joy.

If this reflection resonates with you, consider where in your life you might be able to introduce a little more waiting, a little more space. You don’t need to wait for exhaustion to give yourself permission to pause. The integrity of your response—your real response—comes from taking the time to feel it.

Let that be your practice.